School of Life

At the risk of being seen to insult the education system -- most of the stuff I learned at school has hurt me more than helped me. And the stuff I really needed to know wasn't even mentioned at school. Or College for that matter

I mean, why teach a young girl all about the reproductive system of a frog, when all she is interested in is the reproductive system of the boy sitting at the desk alongside? Worse, she is not interested in whether her request for a "date" is grammatically correct -- despite the admonitions of the English teacher. She is only interested in how well he understands her niche, in marketingspeak. As for Maths, you can graduate knowing how to land a rocket ship on the wrong side of the Moon with a 1% variance, but you cannot calculate how much tax you owe this year, or how much your money will be worth next year! And I cannot recall a single thing I learnt in school that helped me to improve my dinner conversational ability one iota.

Don't get me wrong. I believe it is critically important that young people go to school -- especially today. When most kids feel the necessity to bunk, or carry arms into school or are just plain rude because its always easier to complain about where they are not going on holiday - rather then complain about how heavy the school work is. Schooling is vital in preventing adults from exploding.

However, that is quite beside the point I want to make. Your ability to be economically successful is based on one primary skill: your ability to communicate. Much as we would like to, sometimes, we cannot get away from the fact that the amount of money you have (or can make) determines the quality of your life -- at least until you reach a certain level.

Unfortunately, most of us do not reach that level, despite being extremely competent at what we do. LOL.. when I was in Iraq it was with guys who have a nil communication level most of the day and who got excited at what their reflection looked like in their newly cleaned rifle!

When last did you bump into a plumber, and after a long discussion over the state of your piping and tapping, felt assured that he must be totally incompetent, primarily because he barely had the ability to link three words together. (Pretty much the same applies to programmers, with that way they look at you as if you are a lower lifeform because you don't understand that a monitor is not someone who watches you work.) Or woe betide you run into a Logistics engineer who thinks he is God and you better understand that. And then of course you have the Intel guys who believe that if you are not into Intel speak - you are not worth conversing with.....

Of course, the reverse applies. There are a happy few with tremendous communication skills. They might be utterly useless, but they were so good during the initial chat they have with you, that you felt the need to snap them up as co-workers before anybody else did. Despite being barely competent at the skill they professed to possess, they are doing much better than vastly more competent person's whom, unfortunately, haven't progressed beyond monosyllabic speech.

And that's the point I want to make today. The success of what you do is not dependent upon how well you do the work you do. Your success is dependent on whether people think you do the work well. And the way they think is based on the way that you communicate. Unfortunately, the communication techniques you were taught at school are guaranteed to make anybody think that you are a drooling idiot.

I do try not to break every grammatical rule in the book, and I am often subjected to criticism for my catastrophic use of the apostrophe, to say nothing of my principles. Fortunately, for every one of these, a whole bunch of people write to say that I made them laugh today. That's communication! I really enjoy making people smile and to enjoy the life they have as much as possible. If shit happens along the way, well then go around it by taking a deep breath and pretending it never happened.

However, where did our communication skill appear - well it certainly wasn't in school. What we need is to change the school curriculam drastically in all the schools. Not everybody wants to be a rocket scientist and I can't believe this but unless kids today learn about the world - the world to them will consist of the USA only because Obama became the first African American President. Or Iraq because it was in the news. Or South Africa because Mandela "liberated" the oppressed.

It brings me to mind about an incident that happened to me in D.C a few years back. I had just returned from South Africa. I was in Denny's getting late night coffee and a biscuit and I was chatting to a waitress, and she asked me where I had just been - I told her South Africa and she said she had never heard of South Africa in Washington DC, was it a new suburb. I was absolutely shocked at her ignorance and I shook my head so she tried again and thought it might be in California then. I told her that it was in Africa and she had no idea where it was. I left soon after wondering what the heck the teachers were teaching students!

If our kids have no idea where countries are, their cultural differences, religions etc, what the heck are we paying teachers for? Maybe its better to teach kids at home then, because then they might get a better all round education. They will learn about tax, communication skills and all the other life skills that is so important in life today. We don't live in the middle ages anymore. Computers and the Internet and cellphones prove that we are trampling in a future generation and kids today and yes even adults need that skill to progress into the 21st century and beyond.

I on the other hand have good communications skills, and life experiences have taught me how to use them to my best advantage. And my hobby has come into great play. I use my skills writing. Even if I should die today, I will leave a legacy behind me, as I have already written several books. So at least my life as I know it, will not be forgotten. Where did I get my skills.....

The school of Life.

Which comes back to insulting the education system - until schools improve their communications skills and teach students the meaning of life and have life skills.... we will continue to have ignorant people running important companies that they have no business touching.

The stupid thing about all this is that in South Africa, the apartheid is now in reverse. The white skilled workers have been terminated and the the African people who go to school, who don't learn anything but graduate anyway- get their jobs - even though they have no experience and are totally ignorant of how business's and companies work. Its no wonder nothing works in this country.

Potholes in the road, no water, no electricity, no sanitation in most places. The cost of living has put most people in the poor house. Ratepayers are being hit for buildings that are now white elephants, or taxes for the poor (Who I don't believe get one penny). A lottery where they give out a little and keep the bulk instead of giving it to charity. And strikes by public servants regularly for more money - even though they don't deserve it.

Do I really want to live here?

Would you?

South African Shocks

When I came back from the USA to South Africa and wanted to look for work-it became a campaign - I had the misguided impression of the feeling, "Hey anybody can do this"...hello ...I must had had rocks for brains that day. For a fairly intelligent female I must have left my brains in a box somewhere and forgotten to take it out!

Looking for work in an african country should have been a piece of cake, unfortunately in South Africa I am the wrong skin color and gender also has its limitations. Plus much to my horror I discovered I needed references and at least a years solid employment in a known environment that could be checked out and verified and I also needed personal references. That was just the starting point. So over three days of looking and checking and crossing out I learned a few things. Even though I didn't have references to work in the country, I was unemployable because I was overqualified! Very daunting to be told that at every interview I ever went on. My US references were impecible but none of the employers wished to contact anyone in the US to research references!

So once again I hit the streets looking for temporary work, only to find my linguistic skills at a loss because I do not speak Zulu, Xhosa or Afrikaans. So being a temp receptionist was out. I learned I was the wrong skin color at various other places I tried, and woefully for me some of the jobs, though I could have done them required the male species and being female was a no show. Very annoying. Frustration at my thwarted efforts I started checking out restaurant jobs, looking for waitressing or something similar. The first few attempts were turned down - and feeling dejected I stopped off at a pizza place and had a chat with the manager. He, much to my astonishment needed someone and asked when could I start. I informed him I didn't have the required references because I was not South African. He shrugged it off and said that he pays basic minimum wage and the job was mine if I needed it. So instead of stopping to think about it like I should have done I signed the contract stuff and the next day started to work at the Pizza Parlor. It was only a few days later I learned why nobody wanted the job. Basic minimum wage is slave labor. 50c an hour. I had to take care of customers orders, make sure the pizza bakers got the orders right, prepared the boxes for the pizza's, collect the cash, help to clean up the back every two hours, refill bottles and cannisters. Make sure that all areas are clean of insects.....

At first it sounds easy enough until you realize that the guys in the back think that as the token female its your job to do all the work whilst they relax between orders. I soon dissuaded them of that notion. Then you get nice customers and so-so customers and then you get the rude, sarcastic S.O.B's more often then not when I don't need them after a long day. And for some reason they only turn up after 5pm. Its like they are on a clockwork alarm. Ie "Lets see how much we can rattle the cages of the workers". I think I will start noting exactly where these guys work and the day before I quit - toss in my "Pizza" uniform - I go to their place of business and give them shit. See if they like it!

A few days later I had the misfortune to slip on a greasy floor in the back and slammed hard into the steel fridge face first. I had to take the time off to see the doctor the next day to discover that I had slightly damaged my eye. You can imagine what I said to the bakers that afternoon. I think their ears are still ringing to this day. The floors became instantly sparkling clean as I don't think they ever want a repeat of my words.

The boss wasn't thrilled with me because I got annoyed at one guys rudeness and his suggestive notion that my services would be better serviced between the sheets with him and his buddies. I shrink-wrapped his pizzas. It was a nice little revenge. However, the boss wasn't thrilled so I had to make up for it because according to the shop's policy's "The customer is always right and the employee had better understand that"

I don't know what ever happened to the "be nice" cliche when shopping for either foods or other necessities. Heck I am never rude to the person serving me unless there is a real reason to be annoyed.

Maybe I am looking at this all wrong....

I don't think I could have my own business if this is the results. In fact I don't want to ever work for a pizza place again.

The past few years have assured me that pizza parlors are to be avoided - considering what I know happens behind the counter, I will never buy another one ever again. If I have to get a take-away I will make sure that the ones I get are constructed right in front of me. Whether its sandwiches or whatever.

Have I learned anything about living in South Africa?

Yes, don't take anything at face value here. Don't believe everything you see or hear. Never wear jewellery or carry a camera in public. Stay out of the cities if you want to get back anyplace safe. Nothing is free, and that includes information. Remember that the locals hear your voice and automatically have a fleecing system up. Understand the local currency because if you don't - you end up poorer then you started with - with nothing to show for it. African curios can be bought cheap at the beach front-so stay away from curio shops. If you have seen one wild animal in a zoo be grateful its not in your yard. Before you visit get some training in unarmed combat-it could save your life. Oh and make sure you drive on their side of the road or take a bus. NEVER take an african taxi anywhere, no matter how cheap it sounds or authentic it looks. If you do, I hope you have your insurances paid up and ready for your family, the end result is unpleasant even if you might reach your intended destination in one piece and are not lying dead in a road someplace.

The most dangerous critter on the road isn't a lion, or Rhino or wild animal - its an unlicenced african taxi driver behind the wheel of an unroadworthy broken taxi who charges R7.00 a ride anywhere. And there are literally thousands of them everywhere. They even have their own laws on the road. FAST and LOUD or quick and deadly. They don't care about other laws. If the cops take their taxi away- thats okay they will go steal another one someplace else and then its back to business again.

Food is unbelievable expensive in comparison to anywhere else. Cars, homes and technical equipment the same. 1 litre of Milk is more expensive then a gallon of gas.

Do I want to live here?

I am making a sincere effort to leave this place far behind anyway I can.

I have not met many people here as most of them keep to themselves. I work for my dad half days now. My days when not working, I either sit online, read, write or go fishing.

What I should have done in retrospect was just gone back home to the US and maybe have come and visited my dad or my son instead.

A few years back I went to Iraq, ostensibly to check it out for one of my novels. I was welcome at a US Marine base and made friends there and they kept me safe. My parents were horrified and asked me to come home. My mother even promised to change her attitude.

I think Iraq warped my brain cells to thinking that my mother might have changed as she had promised. My mother will never change and we can't live under the same roof together, its impossible. I have a hard enough day working at my dad's and cook and clean for them too. I feel like a everyone's slave.

I am starting to think that Iraq sounds like paradise in comparison to South Africa.

Heck...don't get me wrong- the country is beautiful - its the folks I am worried about.

I am starting to think that only Rhodesians are nice people in comparison to the rest of the world - its such a pity - that Rhodesia doesn't exist anymore and that political tyrant Mugabe has run it into the ground.

I have to ask myself a stupid question - Mugabe is one man - right.

How come his poor and deprived people now, have not killed the bastard. That country needs another civil war.

Disappointments

I am annoyed today to discover that there are some people on my friend list who have no honor. Who choose to fight dirty with unkindness and in some respects, show me that their reasons for wanting to be "my friend" is because I look good. I am not going to say who it was who got past my normal defences, but he knows who he is. I can handle rejection. Been there-done that...lol...even wrote the book. But what galls me is that he did not let me know the change of affairs and instead ignored me as if I was unimportant. I have come to the conclusion that its safer not to have relationships. That way I will not be hurt by rejection.

I am not perfect and have many flaws. But one thing I am most adamant about is that if you want my attention then I want to know upfront - bare to the bones- honesty.

"What do you want from me exactly and What are you prepared to offer me?"

Its simple really, I am a single female, with simple wants. I don't require riches, I don't need things, I do require honest feelings.

Most of you have not met me personally, and I could be a fake for all that you know, but I know I would never be who I wasn't because in the end if I should meet any of you one day, you would know and be disappointed. I can't abide disappointments in life and would never wish it on anyone else. Its hard enough living life as it is without that.

My disappointments are many:

My first disappointment was being born into a dysfunctional family. My mother told my dad that she couldn't have children. My dad did, and was delighted when I came along. I got hand me downs from the family and was the last to ever know anything, which is still true today. Disallusionment with life began early. My dad has protected me from a mother who instilled fear and beatings as a form of control. She was cruel and unkind all the time. I spent time locked in cupboards or the bathroom. To this day I can't be in the dark and I can't be underground. Claustrophobia is hard to overthrow.

My second disappointment came when I married a guy who only wanted me because I had rich parents and he could party with friends. I was too young and too stupid to realize I had been conned. I was looking for love in all the wrong places. Eventually I realized how cruel he was when our son ignored him and learned why. I kicked him out. Our son has nothing to do with him, and I have one delightful scientific genius now who visits on weekends after spending his week at University.

My latest disappointment is thinking I had finally found someone to care about and making the mistake of sharing my history and then been rejected by him.

How is it that when I am honest, I am pushed away as if I am unimportant in the daily events of life?

I think when I finally shuffle off this mortal coil I will ask God if I can come back as a big black canadian bear. I don't want to be a human being - its not worth it - and at least a bear can kick anythings butt!

And the stupid thing is- I am a nice lady.

Condemnation For A Blog

I used to belong to a group whose motto is "Military Forever" and on the odd occasion share a blog I have written here with them. I joined them because I was given to understand that freedom of speech meant never having to say you are sorry about what you write. Well that came to an all time stop. I was informed that my blog was traitorous to both the military and to the president and they would forward it on to them. So I sent them a letter informing them that the dept. of Defense already had the Blog as I had already sent them a copy. Just because I put my blogs up for others to read doesn't mean I keep it a secret from the world at large. On the contrary they already know my feelings and though they are not happy about the situation, they acknowledge that they would much rather have my thoughts then keep it hidden. My blogs are for public consumption and I have yet to ever do anything traitorous to any country I am presently living in or its citizens. I have never taken up arms against our citizens or disgraced any President. I treat all people with common courtesy, be they ours or theirs. Unless provoked or it coming down to us or them situation, I believe in justice and freedom of expression. Either written or spoken.

The mere fact that I wrote that Blog was to get their attention to the fact that in our current sitation, nothing is what it seems on the surface. We paint glowing colors on things that are ugly hoping that maybe they will get better. I didn't write it to annoy people or make them think I was a traitor or worse.....

I can tell you this...my friends are more important to me than any family I have. I appreciate my friends for who they are and not what they might or might not have. I look to the human side of life, be it good or bad. I don't care what my friends look like, its whats inside thats important.

I don't ask you to agree with everything I say. You have your opinions as do I. But that doesn't mean I will condemn you for what you believe in. I am not that shallow. I can define a friend by the joy of knowing that at anytime of the day or night, I will be greeted by a smile and the knowledge that no matter what - my friend is there to talk to. As I am here to talk to my friends.

The group and I are no longer on speaking terms and I quit them. I am afraid that to be condemned outright without even finding out what went wrong, leaves me with a dismay that can't even be imagined.

I hope if you disagree with me on anything I blog about, you will at least tell me your feelings first.

People

Amongst the friends that I have made

There are one or two

Who definately go out of their way

To be rude and unkind to a few

There is no necessity in this life

to be nasty or be rude

Why spend your lives hurting others

Being mean mouthed and crude

Its such a shame that there is this need

For some people to disagree

A lot of others have different opinions

because thats what freedom is meant to be

If you look deep inside

Would YOU like it if someone said

"Hey dude you suck at what you do

Maybe it would be better if you were dead."

Of course you wouldn't like it at all

So take off those blinkers and see us anew

Because each of us are special people

With opinions and a different view

We are just going through life

And hope it never ends

And everyone that comes here today

Will hopefully be lifelong friends

Where Are the Police when you need them?

There was an accident outside our house this morning. A 16 year old with no drivers licence, took his mothers car and screamed down Ridge road. We live at the top of a hill, he tried to overtake a slow driver on the blind rise, saw a another car coming, swerved, missed 2 pedestrians by half a metre and hit the rockery outside our gate. His car flew through the air and smacked into the fence. The driver he tried to overtake, stopped to assist and the kid borrowed his cellphone to phone his mom.

A few minutes later his mother arrived and drove away with him. But it gets worse. Security arrive to assist, only to find the driver had left the scene of the accident within minutes. 10 minutes later a tow truck arrives. Security calls the police. They never came. 10 minutes after the tow trucks arrive-the mother comes back and says to security, she was driving the car and had the accident-except-she didn't take into account all the eye witnesses - and both my son and I saw the kid climb out of his smashed car. We informed security she was lying to protect her son.

We all think she was trying to give her son an alibi. To protect him from the police and her Insurance company.

I think both the kid and his mother should be arrested for leaving the scene and lying about what happened. He could have killed the pedestrians, the other driver or himself. He had no drivers licence and had no business being in an expensive car and driving 120km in a 60km zone, on a blind rise and then destroying our garden and then running away.

Unfortunately for the kid and his family, I took photos of the entire scene. Also unfortunately for them my brother is their Insurance company and they will find out soon enough that their claim for damages is going to have a hefty price tag. Not only is their car totalled- and you are looking at a vehicle with a price tag of half a million, according to his mother, but the damage to the garden, our electronic security and the fence will probably be in the region of 50k minimum.

And where were the police? We called. Security called. The other driver called them and so did the tow truck driver. We are still waiting for them to arrive. Its too late for them to gather evidence, the car is gone and so is the driver. Why do we even bother having a police force? They are completely useless.

This is the 6th serious accident outside our residence in 3 years. We have asked the local council to put in speed bumps on either side of the hill, mainly because of the excessive speed drivers use. They can't see anyone leaving their driveways or pedestrians walking over the hill. There are no sidewalks.

One of those accidents the driver slammed on brakes too late and the skid marks were 90 meters long. My grandmother was coming out of our driveway and he smashed right into her car. I ran to the scene and because my grandmother's car was leaking petrol, I decided to get her out, just in case, and had to crawl inside the destroyed car to get to her. I held her for over an hour until the ambulance arrived. The police never came. The speeding driver blamed my gran. I was so angry I wanted to kill him. He had no business driving that fast on the hill. He saw her car 90 meters away. He had plenty of time to slow down. My gran had broken ribs, a broken arm and other injuries. The guy had none. He didn't have insurance either. What justice is that?

Trucks, Mercedes, BMW's - expensive vehicles - have crashed through our garden, two of them through the fence and down the wall into the driveway. Its clearly sign-posted down the road that our road has a 60km speed limit - but nobody takes any notice. Its the local speedway even though there is a solid white line and they can't see over the hill. At the end of the road 1km away is the village which has a police station. Where are the police? Who knows. 2kms from the village is the hospital. Yet it takes beween 1-2 hours for an ambulance to arrive. I know because I have timed them.

The sad reality is that we have lawlessness in this country- by reckless drivers and public servants - and there isn't a thing anyone can do about it.

And the really stupid thing is- a little care goes a long way.